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You feel the shame in your heart.
You are scared. Still you stand tall.
You turn your head.
A quick glance at the ones behind you.
They're laughing. For what reason?
You know your boundaries, your own flaws.
You know who you are, they don't.
If they are laughing with you, you join in on the fun.
If they are laughing at you, you laugh along with them.
At the end of the day, either way, you are the one laughing.
Waking UpI wake up again in the middle of the night
Cold sweat dripping I don't know if I'm alright
Cause it's the millionth time
That I've dreamt you were mine
But now I see
It's only me
With no one else
I'm by myself...
I can hear my heartbeat echo off these walls
As I wander aimlessly through these desolate halls
I keep thinking that I'm hearing your desperate call
But that's just me pretending trying so hard not to fall
I listen to the wind as it whispers by me
But the words that it speaks aren't registering
I listen to the rain as it pours to the ground
I'm looking for you but you're nowhere around
I really fucking hate being alon
Never Come.Keep on looking for the horizon
That just simply isn't there
Why keep looking for the light
When your visions been impaired
You can say you'll wait forever
But what do those words mean
If you don't put forth the effort
And all you do is fight and scream
Go ahead and waste your time
Waiting for the bright impending dawn
By the time that it arrives
I'll be nothing more than gone...
Nonet Two I ThoughtI Thought
I thought you would not ever hurt me.
I guess I was completely wrong.
You promised to protect me,
The end was prolonged.
You said you loved me.
I can't be strong.
Please help me.
I saw you, I fell for you.
Not for your body, your good looks.
Though you are truly gorgeous,
there is something far more amazing:
Your mind, your soul.
That's you, and only you.
That's what I love.
You're my desire.
Emotionless KissIt's not like I can even fight it so why do I still attempt..
To drag myself out of my self created lament..?
I tried to make things right but I can't force out your repent...
You're standing right next to me so why do you feel so distant?!
I only wish
To take your hand
Pull you in close
And do everything that I can
To keep you
I wanted to make you mine
Though I waited and waited
You never gave me a sign
It's not like I try to hide it so why is it that you ignore me?
I've got no one to confide in and you won't even reassure me...
Maybe when I'm gone you'll finally start missing me...
It's strange that when I'm dead how you'll f
I refuse to surface.
I will turn my limbs into fins,
layer my skin with scales.
I will slit my throat, such delicate gills.
Down here, they are mutable, shifting, first whale
then urchin, all spine and stomach.
Up there, air and light fossilize,
a trilobite caught in stone.
Nonet Four MaturityMaturity
As I grow older I start to see.
This life for what it really is.
Death is unpredictable.
Success is not assured.
Pleasure is short lived.
Pain is promised.
Where Is The Light?Where is the light that you promised to me?!
I thought it was clear that I needed you here!
I feel so alone, so lost and confused...
I'm stumbling blindly, don't know what to do!
Where is the light that stopped all of my tears?
I stay up all night 'cause I can't sleep with these fears...
Where are you now that I'm falling apart?!
You left nothing here but this hole in my heart!
Where is the light when I need it the most..?
Why did it leave and where did it go?
What did I do to lose all that I've known...?
How can I live when I've lost all my hope?!
Maybe it's me who has misunderstood!
If I could fix my mistakes then believe me I
When society fallsAs we watch
This society fall
Let us all remember
What we were fighting for
Freedom from oppression
Safety from suppression
To fight without a cause
Isn't to really fight at all
We may think we rule the world
But really the world rules us all
One More Mistake.With every word that I say
With every smile I fake
Every moment I live
I'm making one more mistake...
All the tears that I've cried
Have fallen unnoticed
No matter how hard I try
Nobody will know this...
Every friend that I've made
Everything I create
With every door that I open
I'm making one more mistake...
I hate what I've done
And this person that I've become
I hate these scars on my wrist
Is there no ending to this...?
With every beat of my heart
With every breath that I take
Every day I wake up
Is just another mistake...
Heartbreak MasqueradeI can't remember what it feels like to be happy...
My smile no longer shrouded in sincerity.
It is like a heartbreak masquerade, fooling everyone;
Exhausted, I remove my mask when the day is done.
I'm a professional at what I do: I hide what I feel -
When I get hurt, I pretend like it is no big deal.
In reality, it's killing me; feel my heart breaking
The sad part? My friends don't know that I'm faking.
I can't remember the sound of my laughter any more;
Feels odd when I smile, like I've never done it before.
My heart soaring with joy - well, that feeling is gone
Dreaming about another guy that isn't you feels wrong.
It is like I
The ReasonIf there is never a dull moment with friends
Why are we also so silent?
If friends can tell if those close to them are lying
Why do you not notice I always keep the truth from you?
We say "Friends Forever!"
Does 'Forever' last a day?
Do you really want to know?
Why have those perfect memories faded away?
It was never cherished. Don't pretend to miss them now.
There's another thing I know, should I tell you?
This is not me.
This is who you wanted me to be.
Who am I?
You have no clue.
The real me would never please you.
I've SeenA hundred ways to fall,
A hundred ways to scream,
A hundred ways to break a heart,
And all of them I've seen.
A thousand stabs of betrayal,
A thousand hurtful lies,
A thousand whispers so evil and cruel,
And a thousand words like knives.
A million wishes unanswered,
A million left all alone,
A million hopes all broken and crushed,
And a million hearts turned to stone.
Infinite days spent lonely,
Infinite times you will cry,
Infinite days of fury and rage,
And infinite ways to die.
The sunlight is shining on the top of my head,
should I stay or leave the warmth of my bed?
Drinking beer while birds sing in the rain,
what the hell lets drown the pain.
Eat pills or cut my throat with a sharpened knife,
does it really matter when all I want is to end my life?
Even though I stumble through the darkness at night,
I keep my head up high and my eyes straight at the light.
When I see your face my heart starts to beat,
but I have to stay cool in case I overheat.
All the joy and love that you share and give,
I've finally found a reason to live.
Goodnight Enigmatic SongShe was the song you hear and, at first blush, don't like.
Well, you don't know how you feel about it so you keep listening in an attempt to discover how exactly you feel and then you reach the end of the song and you realize, you don't like it; you love it.
That was Grace.
She was my coworker and she was my friend.
We carpooled together, I drove and she slept most of the way.
"Don't get much sleep at night, do you?" I asked her, catching those drooping lids mid-descent.
She looked out the window streaked with rain; it spoke in percussive touches filling the car with quiet overcast conversation.
I felt the warmth of her smile in the corner of my eye. The blur of her hand reached at the window to feel the cold of the droplets.
"When I was a girl, I used to race these. I thought it was funny the fat ones always won," she giggled and I imagined her as a little girl in the passenger seat then, legs too short to reach so kicking, and hair messed in the bac
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`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More