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Submitted on
December 23, 2012
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  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Ashbury Heights - Unbearable Beauty
  • Reading: Her texts...over and over again.
  • Watching: Supernatural
  • Playing: Faster Than Light
  • Eating: Chocolate bar
  • Drinking: Water
Self-harm isn't always about harming yourself physically.
Very often it's also about mental harm, in some cases all about mental harm.

I for one have never ever cut myself, even though I've played with the thought.
But for many years I've harmed myself with my own mind.
Digging deep mental holes in which I tried to bury myself when I couldn't handle all the chaos going on.

A lot of times I've harmed myself by forcing myself to not make myself heard when what I really needed was someone to speak to.
Ignored friends when they tried to reach out and help me. And then coming back and begged for help just to repeat the same damn mistake over and over again.

I don't do shit like that very often anymore. But sometimes I just can't do any better than close every possible way into my heart and mind, and just shut everyone out. Even close friends that I care about. They who care about me.

In the long run, and most of the time in the short run too, it's nothing else but self destructive. Obviously I need to make tons of change my way of thinking and handling my mind whenever the pressure is getting too high, but it's easier said than done.

I keep telling myself that if people around me just started asking if there's something bothering me I could easily start talking about it, and that way get a lot of steam off my mind. But just like with most problems the steps that makes the change possible is the ones that you take yourself.
:iconalittlebitoffaith:
alittlebitoffaith Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012
I've been verbally abused I've self harmed and mentally harm myself I've just completely lost it :( :(
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:iconcheetah-of-darkness:
Cheetah-Of-Darkness Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student General Artist
I understand this. I've done more mental harm to myself than physical harm(I've never did cutting, just basically snapping myself with rubber bands till I was well welted and bruised). I'm currently undergoing my mental harm of it again, because someone I considered a best friend and whole-heartily trusted said something that stabbed me in the back like a rusty, dull knife, and now, with my paranoid side, finding it hard to know who to turn to, to entrust with my pain. I've talked to my family about the issue, but it still hasn't helped. And because I don't know what of my friends to tell them I'm having an issue that I trust not to hurt me now, I'm bottling up and avoiding them. I'm trying to force myself out of it, but I haven't had luck yet. Perhaps I'm pushing myself too soon, being as this has only happened three days ago.
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:iconinvaderzib13:
InvaderZIB13 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, that's my problem.
the words you plant in your head seem to eat at you like a rabid animal.
But you can't help but let it stay,
even when you fight back with all your might.
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